At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
A bitchslap is in order.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
