They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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