I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
