Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize