you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
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