I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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