Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
