My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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