Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
