I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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