it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize