yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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