either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
