I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
