Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
