8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
