do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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