the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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