Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
how drunk are you?
Several
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
