He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
