did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
