at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
