Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
