What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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