happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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