After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
