loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize