After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
