aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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