these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
And then he peed in my hair
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