Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
