I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
