She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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