Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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