I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
