i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
