Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Vodka?
Forever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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