i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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