all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
