he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
