So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize