That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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