Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
this just has baby written all over it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
