if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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