So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
