In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I intend to get homeless drunk
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
