What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
