What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
