I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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