My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
