Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
