A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Someone came in the potted fern
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
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