No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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