Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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