Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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