I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
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