My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
