So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize