i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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