is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
