I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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