2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im holly from the hills drunk
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize