She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
