like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
