Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
