It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
