I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
